I have started keeping a list again of things I intend to write about, which allows me to turn the ideas over in my head for a while until I feel really ready to write about them.

Yes, some song posts are in the works.

I really feel like I'm back to myself, and better than before, even. I've had an emotional housecleaning of sorts. When I forced myself to let go of what I really didn't need, it allowed me to rediscover what my basic necessities are. I felt like I was falling at first, but that allowed me to discover who would be there to catch me. I couldn't find beauty in the world, but Spring came and reminded me. I had forgotten how to be alone, but I relearned all the little things that sustain me, things that I'd forgotten about for too long. And I felt horribly desolate, but unless I make the mistake of withdrawing into myself, there is never any reason for loneliness.

As a learning experience it kind of sucked and there were times when I wanted nothing more than to be a different person altogether -- someone with, perhaps, a more rational range of emotions. But I know that I could not reach such incredible heights if I could not also sink to such miserable depths, and now that I am on the other side again I know I wouldn't want to be any other way.

I have looked back at the history of my relationships with my closest friends, and sometimes I can't imagine why they are still here, after all these twists and turns. But in the end why doesn't really matter, the fact is that they are, and it is blissful to know that.

So here I am again -- a little more grateful, a little more humble, a little more forgiving, a little less crotchety, and most of all ready to try living in the moment again, living the best way I know how.

Thanks for bearing with me.