Deleting a bunch of emails is like reliving the semester, in a way. The subject lines bring back every little crisis and issue, every conversation, everything that had to be communicated about.

On my way back from the station tonight I saw a pair of deer crossing the road and jumping up the snowbank into the trees behind Conant House. I heard them in the woods as I walked by, but I couldn't see them. It's somehow startling how quickly I get cold when I'm standing outside talking to my friends in the winter, but how little it bothers me when I'm standing riveted, looking at a deer that's frozen stock-still looking at me.

But that didn't happen tonight. I heard them but didn't see them, and I kept walking down the hill and now I'm going to bed.

It's been a very positive weekend, full of connection. In a way it's ironic, because a lot of my friends have been away at the Patriot League tournament all weekend, but in a sense realizing how much I miss them reaffirms the connection. It proves that there's a connection to start out with. That, and having a lot of my usual friends away for the weekend gave me the chance to talk to and bond with people I normally don't. Last night I stayed up two hours after everyone had gone to bed just talking to a person who I had known only vaguely before, and realized that we had a lot in common. It made me very happy.

I proved to myself, also, that I can stand up and do what needs to be done; I can take charge when I need to and do well in unexpected situations. Conducting the band was not something I ever envisioned myself doing, but when it comes down to it I'm capable of it, and my stint as drum-major-for-the-weekend was actually mostly enjoyable once I got over the initial nervousness. So partially I'm happy because I showed that I could rise to the occasion, and partially because everyone was so kind and supportive of me all weekend. It made me feel really good to have so many people behind me. I'm so proud of the band for being so enthusiastic, sounding so good, even though they were only half a band, and putting up with me so well when I had no idea what was going on.

There was talk about the summer, and living with several of my friends, which makes me feel warm and fuzzy beyond belief. Somewhere inside me it's still disturbingly startling that someone would like having me around enough to invite me to live with them. It will be wonderful to be out on my own, not at home and not at college, just living somewhere and working eight-hour days. And not alone either, but with my friends. Warm. Happy.

I haven't gotten any work done this weekend, but I don't care. Nothing in a book could matter this much.

When I'm translating Greek I screw up a whole hell of a lot of things, but the one mistake that I make absolutely consistently and can't manage to get right no matter how many times I've been corrected, is not translating gunh, the word for woman, as wife. In Greek the same word is used for both, and in many contexts you have to translate it as wife. But in my head, I can't ever make them mean the same thing.

earlier -- later